Friday 19th April 2024,
North Yorks Enquirer

“Cowards – One And All”

“Cowards – One And All”

Our Guest Author, Alderman NORMAN MURPHY shares his views on the Prime Minister’s ‘ghost’ visit to Scarborough (as reported in the Enquirer, here).


On 25th January 2024, my birthday as it happens, a very unusual event took place in Scarborough; the British Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, came to Scarborough. No information about the visit was released before hand, it was to be top secret. Why it should have been kept secret no one knows, it was rumoured that it was for security reasons, however, my thoughts are that he would have been much safer here in Scarborough, rather than in Westminster, where just about everybody is out to get the useless muppet.

Anyway, be that as it may, although the visit was unannounced, news of his impending appearance soon got out; and it was rumoured that he was on a bit of a fact-finding tour. It was alleged he would inspect our West Pier and call at our Indoor Market. What the PM hoped to gain from his inspections is anybody’s guess: a boost in the polls, maybe.

My thoughts are that he just called in at Scarborough for some fish and chips and an ice-cream at the Harbour Bar, as you do, on his way to his mansion in Richmond, where he could have a swim in his new heated indoor pool.

Nonetheless, whatever the motive, the muppet arrived late afternoon, but he did not go to either the Market or the West Pier, opting instead for the Skills Village at Eastfield. This change of plan, as things turned out, was, it has to be said, a wise move on his part. Because waiting for him on the West Pier was a pretty feisty reception of locals; and they wanted him to hear their thoughts on a number of important to Scarborough, issues.

There were questions waiting for him over our polluted bays and the fact that his government was ignoring Yorkshire Water pouring thousands of gallons of untreated sewage into our sea on a regular basis. There is, in fact, so much sewage in our seas now that we can no longer put up Blue Flags and will soon be forced to put up White Flags of surrender, given to us, of course, by the useless Environment Agency.

Then there was the thorny issue of the condition of the West Pier itself; and the fact that it is falling apart.

Why, people wanted to know, was Town Deal Funding being spent on redeveloping the top of the pier when the bottom of the pier would soon be at the bottom of the sea.

However, perhaps the most urgent question of the day was why are you allowing the Town Deal Board to squander our £20 million pounds of Levelling Up funding on useless unwanted schemes; such as Fab Lab, the West Pier development and crappy pieces of so-called art. All thought up by that equally useless Labour muppet, Steve (It’s a Dogs Breakfast) Siddons: (don’t know if his alleged new pool in Tuscany is heated).

So as can be seen there were some rather awkward questions waiting for our soon to be ex-Prime Minister on the West Pier. Therefore, understandably perhaps, just like our own local politicians, Janet Jefferson (Castle Ward) for example (who was invited to the West Pier protest), he stayed well away from the people he purports to represent.

Cowards – one and all.

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