Friday 23rd October 2020,
North Yorks Enquirer

North Yorkshire Police Essential Journeys #1

The Politically Correct Deputy Chief Constable of North Yorkshire Police (NYP), Phil Cain, took an ‘essential journey’ across to Scarborough on Wednesday to congratulate Winn, who has served NYP for 50 years.

Congratulations on 50 years service, Winn. Quite some achievement!

With no sense of irony whatsoever Phil’s Tweet was retweeted by North Yorkshire Police #StayHomeSaveLives.

It appears the senior management at North Yorkshire Police need a training course to comprehend what an essential journey is. Ascertaining distance appears to be a problem too as that is under two metres!

Phil’s Twitter profile is interesting. He either didn’t score very highly in biology or toes the politically correct line and indicates his ‘preferred pronoun’ to climb the slippery pole that leads to a Chief Constable gold pension pot.

Phil is the National Police Chiefs Council (NPCC) Race, Religion and Belief lead for Internal Confidence. I have no clue what that is, but it sounds like Death By Powerpoint and the long awaited cure for insomnia.

It seems the once vaunted Police common sense has been eroded in favour of Common Purpose.

Now that I’m sufficiently clued up what the senior management of North Yorkshire Police think an essential journey is, I think it is time to arrange a trip out over the Easter Bank Holiday.

My little car now self-identifies as a truck. I’ll be out and about delivering essential CO2 to roadside plants that have not been getting their regular supply due to vastly decreased commuter and tourist traffic.

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